Nurse Jack's List -
1. DO NOT come to the ER if your thumb hurts from playing
too much Playstation II
2. DO NOT come to the ER if you get soap in your baby’s eye
and now it's (the eye) red. (this happened twice tonight),
3. If you need to call the ER and check on a family member, please
tell us the name of the person you are looking for - NOT "Hi, is
my
fiancé there?" And it helps to know their full name -
"Maybe, what's
her name…’Jennifer’, but I don't know her last name.” (you must
be pretty close)
4.DO NOT come to the ER and tell us you are allergic to ALL
non-steroidal anti-inflamatories, and only that DEM, DIL stuff
works (DEMEROL, DILAUDED).
5. I am NOT a waiter. You don't get to come here and eat, and
feed your whole family.
6. Asking me how much longer will make it THAT MUCH LONGER.
7. Your mom was right, always wear clean underwear PLEASE, and
some fresh socks would be nice as well.
8. Tell your significant others to wash their hoo-hoo before
coming
in as well.
9. If a bandaid stops the bleeding, stitches will only make it worse,
and
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE, AND I AM GOING TO TAKE
CARE OF THE HEART ATTACK FIRST.
10. If I have to come to the smoking area to find you for your respiratory
problem, you don't have one.