I took my brother to the area mall to go shopping on Saturday. I wasn't looking 
to buy anything in particular...just kinda browsing like I usually do. Well...I 
stopped to check out some new sunglasses at one of those $5.00 sunglasses
 kiosks. 

Unbeknownst to me, the vendor directly across the way was hard at work setting 
up a makeshift airport. While I was admiring a pair of imitation Harley Davidson 
sunglasses, I kept hearing this whirring sound overhead, but when I looked up, I 
didn't see anything. At this point, I'm still oblivious to the Southpark Mall Intl. 
Airport which is now going full swing; nor do I notice the small crowd of children 
gathering to watch the free air show. 

After finishing my purchase, I turned and decided to see what the commotion 
was about. The plane monger was an Arabic guy who could barely speak a lick 
of English. By now, more than 20 people had stopped to watch this ass clown 
put several of these helicopters in the air at one time. He had them going all
over the place. He had at least 5 going at once. 

You probably know the helicopters I'm talking about. They cost $10.00 a piece 
and when they get shot out of this hand gizmo, they fly up and out and then 
return to their owners hand automatically. Except there were a few of these plastic, 
flying WMD's that were obviously lemons. Their automatic pilot feature no longer 
worked. 

One shot up to the third floor and then proceeded to crash land into the window 
of a Zales jewelry store. Another nearly crashed and sunk into the gigantic
 fountain that adorns the cathedral-like atrium of our mall, instead choosing to 
land in the pretzel stand. 

I'm standing there watching this cacophony of plastic insanity, laughing my ass 
off while the kids start getting involved. Now there are close to a dozen of these
 things flying this way and that. Most returned like they were made to...others 
decided to launch their own campaign of terror. Women with strollers, bald men, 
handicapped kids..it didn't matter..everyone within 100 feet of the place were 
potential targets. 

Then it happened....Whilst admiring this free spectacle, two copters met in mid-air, 
sending each copter spiraling towards the ground. Since this collision took place 
about 2 stories up and behind me, I paid it no mind...that is until one of these fatally 
wounded birds clipped my ear and crashed into the sunglass stand taking 
pairs of sunglasses with it. 

The lady that ran the kiosk stomped over and started verbally abusing the helicopter 
guy...who then decided to pack up his kiosk and take a very lengthy smoke break. 

After thinking long and hard about it....I've decided to start my own business. I'm going 
to open up a pellet gun store directly across from the helicopter stand. As a 
demonstration of my weapons prowess, I will shoot down any object that flies in my 
No-Fly Zone...including those damn $10.00 helicopters.

 - Moose

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