Today was hot.

My office was hot. Luckily, my office has a closed door, so I was able to do
what any red-blooded American male would do in a hot, stuffy, private office.
Yes, I reached into my shorts and scratched Mr. Left.

My mind was far from hot crotch issues. I needed to buy gib bars and I was
surfing the web to find a supplier. (As I’m sure you know, gib bars hold
perforation blades in place on a printing press.) But they are not easy to find
on the web. So I was surfin’, scratching’ and pondering.

I was pondering “why.”

Why, when I put the words “gib” and “perforation” into the search engine,
was treated to a list of German butt-sex sites. Not that there’s anything
wrong with German butt-sex sites…I just wanted something else. So I stared
at the bold “gib”s and bold “perforation”s amid a sea of Kraut and ass,
scratched Mr. Left, and pondered.

Then the guy barged into my office.

So there I was – one hand in my pants, other hand on my mouse, and a list
of German perversions on my screen. I jerked my hand guiltily out of my
pants (is there any other way to jerk your hand out of your pants?) and
turned crimson. Before I could say anything, the intruder stammered
something about “wrong office” and quickly departed, taking my dignity
with him.

I hid in my office until everybody else left today.

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