I was out in my yard the other day (picking up dog
doo)and it occured to me that a great deal of my adult
life has been devoted to 'shit'.
I have read the book "Everybody Poops". That's not the
The problem is, friends, I have jobs that require my
cleaning of said defication. Currently in Anesthesia,
poop cleaning is not an issue. Yes, I do see (or
smell) it on a regular basis, what with all the
perforated bowels, 'dead' bowels and the like, but for
the most part we just put you to sleep and insert
various lines in your veins and arteries. From the
nipples down is an SEP (Somebody Elses Problem). In
the ER however, it's game on. I'll go easy on the
demented old folks (who do crap the most), but what is
the deal with regular people and shitting
I've cleaned up all types:
Drunk guy shits in his pants, inserts hands in pants,
rubs bed, bed rails, self, wall......
Gal in MVA, strapped to backboard, big runny crap that
goes from shoulder blades to ankles, gotta clean up
before x-ray will touch 'er.
Bloody lower GI bleed, you can't control the flow and
boy does it smell like nine kinds of Hell.
My favorite - 6'6" guy with head injury. I walk him to
the bathroom to take a leak. He's got an unsteady gait
so I get to stand with him in the bathroom (that is
the size of a porta-potty). I'm holding him up by the
back of his shirt and look down. A crap the size of a
loaf of bread is in his shorts that I have to get out,
which I do, but it will NOT flush. I had to get ring
forceps and fish it out, throw it in the Biohazard
My wife is pregnant, so I get dog poop duty, cat box
duty, and turtle tank filter duty. I imagine I'll get
diaper duty as well.
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