Why can’t I buy anything anymore without being
audio crap? Is EZ-listening garbage pumped into every retail
outlet in America now?
Its gotten so bad that I can’t even buy gasoline
in peace. Who is
the marketing genius who decided that I’d buy MORE gasoline if
I heard Kenny G’s rendition of Stairway to Heaven while I fill my
tank? Am I supposed to come back early for my next fill-up, hoping
to hear Black Dog?
Shopping is painful enough for me without enduring
We Built This
City (On Rock & Roll) squeaking out of a Casiotone. You want to
impress me? You want me to come back again real soon? Dump the
Muzak and focus on carrying clothes that fit my “non-standard body
I can’t be the only 5’7” 135 lb guy who needs
to get dressed on a
regular basis. Why not carry something in a small size that doesn’t
have fucking Spongebob Squarepants on it?
Maybe I’m asking too much. Maybe bad music and
are crucial elements of your business plan. But can you please do
something about your employees? Last time I checked, we were
a recession. Jobs are supposed to be scarce. So you’d think you’d
be a little more selective about who you hire.
I was at a computer store in a very affluent,
neighborhood yesterday. Out of nowhere this skinny white boy
started haranguing me like he’s Emenem.
“Hey yo, brah! You see my end cap? Its got a Sony
All RCA jacks on the front and shit.” He did that palsied gangsta
thing with his hands, like Stephen Hawking doing sign language.
What's that all about?
Listen, DJ Jazzy Dipshit, you are about as “inner
city” as I am
Eskimo. I bet if the “help” in your mansion spoke that way, your
mum would fire him.
I don’t want to hear a symphonic medley of ABBA’s
I don’t want to buy clothes that fall off my skinny ass. And I don’t
want a craaaaaazy Sony.
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