Don’t you hate it when you are driving 80 mph and your
nose kind of itches,
so you pick at it, not PICK IT, but just kind pick at the edge of your nostril
with your thumb without even thinking about what you are doing, and you get
a little bit of old, dried booger, like just a LITTLE flake of booger, and
you
begin to remove the little, tiny, booger-flake but then you feel a sensation
like
the entire contents of your head are connected to this booger flake, and
its too
late to stop pulling the booger out, and a huge, I MEAN HUGE booger slides
out of your nasal cavity and your eyes kind of sink back into your head from
the
pressure change, but then all the air that rushes in to fill the void left
by the
mega-booger pushes them back into their sockets, and then you have this
banana-slug of a booger draped over your thumb and back of your hand and
down your wrist, but you are driving fucking 80mph and you are wearing a
suit
and don’t have a tissue, so you don’t know what to do with this sudden
appearance of the King of All Boogers on your hand, so you roll down the
window and hope that the wind will blow it off you, but the booger doesn’t
cooperate and ends up imbedded in the sleeve of your suit jacket?
Fuck. I hate that.