A special shout out to UN Under-Secretary General, Jan
Egeland, and anybody else who says that the US is 
“stingy” with it’s aid – suck my balls. 

How many billions of dollars do we give away every 
year? I don’t know, but I’d wager thatis about 
eleventy bizillion times more than any other country. 
I’m tired of being under-appreciated. It doesn’t 
matter how much money we give away, its never enough. 

I feel like the father of spoiled little rich girl. 
"But DADDY, I want a PINK Mercedes! I only have a 
red one and a green one. I hate you!"

“The US isn’t doing it’s part to fight AIDS in
Africa.”
“The US isn’t giving enough money away in Afganistan.”
“The US refuses to fund very important worm-farms in
sub-Saharan Jerkoffistan.”

Fine. Here’s the new deal. For the next 365 days, we
are out of the charity business. We have record
deficits, beat-up roads, and underpaid teachers. I’m
sure our soldiers could use a boost in their combat
pay. We can find something to do with the money. 

Let’s see how you people do without out Uncle Sam
throwing money at you. You think we’re a bunch of
pricks anyway, so all you people who get your TV news
from Al-Jizz, step up. Divert that money you were
going to give to Mullahs for Mushroom-clouds, and buy
some rice.  France, Germany, and Canada, there’s a
whole pack of refugees with your name on them. 

And Turkey, quit bitching about how the President was
on vacation while thousands died. IT WAS CHRISTMAS!
What was he supposed to be doing? Sitting in the oval
office with his hand hovering over a checkbook,
waiting for the next disaster to strike?  The guy is 
lucky if he gets his shoes on the right feet. You 
expect him to be able to predict natural disasters?!

You people piss me off. You want money? Go ask some
other government. Come back in a year and tell me how
you did.

Oh, I’m sure there will still be a massive outpouring
of charity from American individuals, corporations and
NGO’s. I’m even going to write a check or two. That’s
just the way Americans are. We give a crap. We want to
help you. Come visit some time and you’ll see how nice
we are. We’ll pull your car out of a ditch, let you
“borrow” a cup of sugar, and watch your kids while you
run errands. But we're through paying taxes to fix your
problems only to hear that we are “stingy."

Now start with the left one.

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