Can someone explain to me why having the National Guard in
the airport makes me safer? Did the Guard actually stop the “Shoe
Bomber” or any of the myriad of yokels who have blown through
airport “security” lately?
I have no beef with the Guard. But frankly, these folks have better
things to do. Last time I checked, they weren’t trained to back up
Special Security Agent Makhmood when he tries to take away
some old lady’s knitting needles. They are supposed to put down
riots, quell looting, and generally kick ass whenever things get out
of control on the domestic front.
If we want to use these guys effectively, I say we assign them to
oversee the clowns who actually run the airlines. Remember, the
hijackers only got on the planes because the airlines ignored their
own security measures; not because there weren’t enough dudes
with guns patrolling the airport. Lets station a guardsman (or
guardswoman – however that works) behind every ticket agent
to make sure he (or she) is doing her job.
Next time “Betty in ticketing” starts to lose focus, a swift prod
from the business-end of an M-16 should remind her not to
automatically issue a last-minute, one-way ticket to a cash-paying
And what’s this bullshit with the mail? Remember back when the
only disease-filled package you had to worry about was the one
you got after the Tri-Delt formal? (Think about it)
As of now, I can no longer send mail from my office unless it has
a return address! What genius thought this up? Can someone please
explain to me how this is going to thwart the next terrorist? News
flash: any guy smart enough to get weapons-grade Anthrax is
probably going to use a phony return address on his Envelope
And while I’m at it, will all y’all kindly shut the hell up about the
hundreds of Afgan civilian casualties?! Last time I checked, the
USA had thousands of dead noncombatants. Thousands, folks.
Can’t we just drop the Big One and move on with our lives? This
is getting asinine.
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